The Wanderer

Anyway, with about 50 days until the start, fear and panic have truly set-in and I'm now trying to lose the weight that I should already have shed. As of this morning, the (lying) bathroom scales reckoned on 82kg. It also said something about 'No Coach Parties'. Any more of that lip and you'll be doing your weighing in the local tip, my friend...

And there we have the struggle folks, hah-hah-hah!

The point is well made though: I need to get quite a bit lighter to compensate for the 15kg of gear that I'll carry with me. So yet again The Ashiana has had to lay-off a couple of staff and my local chippy is bracing itself for a profits warning for the 2nd quarter. They're used to it by now, hah-hah!

Hmmm, hilarious.

With last year's Tour de France route being set in stone and wonderfully signed (for the most part), navigation was never an issue. This time though the route planning (for want of a more accurate term) is a product of me using Google Maps to plot a point on downtown Seattle and also one on South Beach Miami, and then see where the line joining them goes. Yeah, you can go into too much detail, right?

Leaving sunny Seattle on Sept 11th...

Very much wanting to see this after 29 days, thanks!

Slight refining and finessing was then necessary for various reasons: for instance, not all of the 14 States that I'll cross will permit cyclists on their Interstate Highways...or perhaps leaving too big a distance between towns (i.e. food & water stops), and at times the route was taking me through too big a conurbation (no fun negotiating endless traffic lights and stop/start traffic).

Hope there's a 7-11 up ahead.

"Take Me Home, Country Roads..."

Once that looked a bit more civilised, I then looked at whether there was any available accommodation at the end of each days' cycling. Not always the case as it turned-out, and in a few of the places it's going to be interesting experience: not sure TripAdvisor has reached them, hah-hah!

Condé Nast are considering the Drummond Motel for inclusion in its top 100.

To be fair, the majority are tried-and-tested Travelodges, Super 8s, Best Westerns and the like. And wherever they are, you can be fairly sure that there'll be somewhere dispensing high-calorie grub and hopefully beer as well. If there's usable wi-fi too then we're sorted!

Finest looking lodging: The Dickey House B&B near Marshfield, Missouri.

The average daily distance is 135 miles, which is outside my comfort zone alright. Unfortunately there are a few days that are a touch longer and it's safe to say that I'm not particularly relishing these: mind you, since it was me wot dreamt this up I can only blame myself. As the old proverb goes, 'Man plans and God laughs'!

Sleep should come easy.

I am chuffed that my rest days will be spent in interesting places: Mount Rushmore, Memphis and Cape Canaveral. The last one only came about because I realised that NASA have a visitor centre there and I'd rather spend a day-off looking around there rather than arrive in Miami a day early and loll around on the beach. Well, I'd quite like to do that too but time precludes it, ah diddums hah-hah!

We're doing well on the sponsorship, so...

 In the meantime it would be terrific if you felt able to donate by clicking on one of the buttons over there, top right or click on the links below. Even the price of a coffee or a pint will make a difference and help someone. Good on you!

- To donate to Bloodwise, please click 'here'!

- Please click 'on this bit' to support Combat Stress.

It's important to stress here that if you aren't comfortable donating online but would still want to sponsor me, then please give me a shout at simon@nicholl90.fsnet.co.uk and we'll work-out an alternative. This is a polite way of saying there is no escape, hah-hah!

This clip is undoubtedly the finest thing you'll see on the web today: sheer class!

Read it and weep, Cowell...you and your auto-tune cronies!